Tom
Tom hangs out at McDonald's. He normally stays outside sitting on a low wall, facing the parking lot. He is very dirty, clothes and skin. Hair is wild and matted, a stubble beard and mustache. He always wears a baseball cap that has never been cleaned. The first thought an observer has; this guy is a bum, keep him at a distance. His eyes are dull and he always looks down to the ground as he is passed. I suspect he partakes of drugs that may be stashed nearby.
In the summer he will from time-to-time enter and cool off for awhile. I have never seen him buy anything. In the winter he will enter to get warmed-up then resume his stand outside. One day I was surprised when he had a cup of coffee outside to keep warm.
The other night, Pat and I went to McDonald's for a Hot Fudge Sundae. The temperature was about 35 degrees, very cold for us in Green Cove Springs. Tom was outside shivering against the cold. I had only seen him in the mornings never in the evening. As I passed I asked him how he was. He replied: "My sister kicked me out." We were both shocked - realizing he had no place to go and the temperature being so low. Inside, we had a short discussion about his plight and that is was a bad situation for him.
Upon leaving, I asked him where he was going to sleep, and he said he did not know. I think I said: "Good luck on a night like this". Pat and I drove home to a warm house and said no more about Tom. The next day I pondered Tom's situation: Should I have done more? Should I have contacted some shelter for him? Should I have brought him home? Can I really just turn away and do nothing? What I did do was nothing.
The next time we saw Tom he had clean clothes, was shaved, had a smile on his face - in short, looked normal. Pat asked him what happened to him, he said he had reconciled with his sister. He was still standing outside McDonald's but the change was pleasing. Sometimes it is difficult to know when you should be a good Samaritan. Help may be offered too soon. A person may change when his situation becomes too difficult to endure.
posted by Marcel at
12:44 PM
5 Comments:
You did the right thing. Had you done otherwise you would have been an enabler of bad or destructive behavior.
Life is a series of choices that largely determine your fate. People need to be motivated to choose socially acceptable behavior. Tom's negative motivations might be hunger, cold or discomfort. If he is given the means to lesson his negative motivations he is less likely to change his behavior by reconciling with his sister, fighting his addictions or getting a job.
I sympathize with people who are suffering for no fault of their own. Disabled veterans are my weakness. I cannot pass-up a paraplegic veteran begging on the streets of Las Veges.
By
John Beauregard, at 9:23 AM
I did not know they had such a thing in Las Vegas.
By
Marcel, at 2:38 PM
Many times I have walked by a person who was begging and appeared down on their luck. I would do my best not to make eye contact and not give a second thought. But recently I have come to realize that I cannot tell the difference between a person who is truely down on their luck thru lifes circumstances and the user/abuser of drugs who is down due to their own poor choices.
I have made the decision that I will always carry 5 dollars in my wallet that is designated specifically to be given away. Maybe it will provide a warm meal for someone who is truely in need and they will see Jesus reflected in my gift. And, maybe it will go to a drug user who will use it to purchase alchol or drugs. If so, maybe it will hasten them "hitting bottom" and recovery will come sooner in their life.
In any event I cannot control how others spend money I choose to give, I can only choose how I spend my money. Someday when I am facing my judgement, I don't want to say I looked the other way.
By
David, at 4:57 PM
David, your comment was absolutely beautiful. More people should feel the way you do. Maybe this world would be a much better place to live in, if everyone thought as you do.
Many blessings to you.
Aunt Pat
By
Anonymous, at 6:43 PM
To David and his wonderful comment. If they are near a food establishment... go in and the purchase the meal yourself, that way you know your money went to filling their belly and not toward any drugs or alchol.
By
cheryl, at 2:23 PM
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