Musings

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Crotch Grabbing

In my previous blog, Rich Pigs, I ended with what I thought was a joke, that my next blog would be Crotch Grabbing. I had no intention of writing on that topic. However, not wanting to fully disappoint some readers who appeared to look forward to it I have decided to say "something" about it. Now, after thinking it over, I realize that some of the words that would be used like: testicles, scrotum, penis, pubic hair, etc. could make for a TMI situation. Therefore, I have decided to attack other pet peeves. Just before the batter receives a pitch, a third world player will grab his bling-bling and kiss it. These gold necklaces must be passed out to them as soon as they find they are going to the big leagues. They all have one, some have two. I do understand baseball players, as a group, have always been superstitious, but must the fans go though this ritual so often? Knocking the dirt off the spikes with the bat is understandable, but the ever present kissing ritual is too much. In addition, these third world players, once they get a base hit and stand on the bag, will make some sort of attenuated sign of the cross on their face, kiss their thumb, thump their chest and then point an index finger to the heavens. This ritual is just as complicated as the third base coach giving the signal for the hit-and-run. As close as I can figure, the sign of the cross indicates that he is Catholic, the thump on the chest indicates his superiority and personal achievement over the pitcher, and the finger toward the heavens indicates that he owes it all to God and is willing to share some of the credit for his superior skill. (There are probably other explanations.) Another peeve, the continual tightening of the gloves while batting. I know about Velcro, once engaged it does not move. Stepping back after every swing and readjusting the gloves is time consuming, stay in there and wait for the next pitch. There are still some players that bat bare-handed and it is a relief that they just remain in the batters box and await the next pitch. Next blog: Super Crotch Grabbing

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