Musings

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

One Square

Cheryl Crowe has stated we all should use only one square, an interesting concept. Even Rosie chimed in with: "Does she know the size of my ass?" Apparently Rosie has not considered exactly what she was talking about. Consider a golf course, it has many fairways that are of various lengths and widths, yet, the cup at the end of each of the fairways is the same size. If it can be done for one it can be done for all. But how to do it is the question. So far Crowe has not offered to demonstrate. I am willing to watch and be instructed. One square would be a problem for some of my grandchildren who ball up a large wad and wipe with that. When they were told that it is not necessary to use so much paper, the answer was, I might get some poop on my hand. Of course, if that happens it is possible to wash in the sink nearby. At one time, no squares were used when corncobs were available in the outhouse. I remember using an outhouse in which there was an option, corncobs or Sears Roebuck Catalog, I used the catalog. In those days, of the three holes available, I sat on the smaller hole.

posted by Marcel at 6:08 PM

5 Comments:

  • I like the metaphor you brought up in your first paragraph; I had never thought of it that way. However, I doubt they will ever show a live demonstration, at least not on network TV.

    I try to use as little paper as possible, but one square might be a little harsh. Come on, give us at least two or three!

    By Blogger Sean M., at 7:14 PM  

  • Someone once demonstrated the following SCENARIO for me (it was not an ACTUAL demonstration).

    You take ONE SQUARE of toilet paper and fold it up lengthwise and then width-wise so it becomes "4 ply". Then you tear off a piece of the corner that used to be the center of the square. Then you unfold.

    You now have a square of toilet paper with a hole in the middle. Stick your middle finger through that hole and "wipe away" with your middle finger. Then you press the toilet paper down around your finger as you pull the paper off, thus cleaning that finger and keeping your other hand clean.

    Ahh, but what to do with the little center hole part that is left over? Simple... you use it to clean under your fingernail.

    THAT, my friends, is how you use one square of toilet paper.

    By Blogger Tim B., at 7:19 AM  

  • The Arabs use the right hand for eating and the left hand for wiping. Presumably, the left hand is then wiped into the sand, but who knows?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:13 PM  

  • That's my brother. Equal opportunity thinker. From the church to the toilet in a little over two weeks.

    By Blogger paulette, at 3:15 PM  

  • No comment. I wouldn't touch this one with a 10-foot pole.

    By Blogger Monica, at 5:52 AM  

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