Mall Watching

While waiting for Pat's car to get a 45,000 mile service, we were informed that we could have a courtesy car take us to the mall instead of waiting at the dealer. We went there and stayed inside for two hours and outside for one hour. While there, it was apparent that the people at the mall fall into different tribes. the first tribe we noticed was the Muffintops. They are all overweight and bellies hang over the tight fitting pants. Then there was the Phunnyhats, those that can not wear a hat properly, with beaks to the side, rear, up, upsidedown, anything but the correct way. Of special mention is the Crotchknee tribe. This tribe is composed only of males, who disdain actually looking at females but are confidant that their attire is compelling females to look their way. When in a group of three or four, one (the leader) will actually have a hand devoted excusively to holding his pants up. A close kin to the Crotchknee is the Squarerig, identified easily by a very large, white tee-shirt that goes all the way down to just above the knee. Squarerigs are always mesomorphs giving the impression of huge muscular bodies under the white sails. The pants for both tribes are identical. The Watusi were often sighted, tall ladies with excellent carriage, bright makeup, high hairdo, spike heels and large, brightly colored, sequined purse. The Watusi are singular individuals walking with a purpose to only they know where. While sitting outside, near the Movies, we saw many Breeders, always accompanied by small unkept children. Sometimes the children would be ahead drawing rebuke from the Breeder to watch out for the cars, and other times the children would fall behind and then no attention was paid to them. Breeder children always wear flip-flops and from time-to-time one will lose a flip-flop and fall behind while trying to get it back on. The Breeder never notices this trouble because of the need to always look into the parking lot. Outside was where we witnessed the mating attempts of the Autosounds. They roll slowly by with all windows down and heavy-base speakers turned up to max decibells. The car will perceptibly slow when going by females, sometimes honking the horn, yet, once by them, it will immediately speed up letting out an engine roar to announce their leaving. Autosounds do not get a chance to mate because once a female approaches the car she cannot make herself understood over the noise. The Autosound does not know how to reduce the volume and never meets her. Because of this Autosounds do not reproduce. Additional Autosounds come from the Sillyass tribe who are immensely dim witted and want desperately to be cool. There were a few Newskins observed. Their tatoos over exposed arms, legs, neck, low back and ankles are a compensation for zero personality. If outside, they will be found smoking quietly while avoiding eye contact with everyone. Sillyasses can be easily swayed to join the Newskins. We only saw two Entreprenures. Entreprenures have cell phones to their ears and are talking earnestly to someone. They move from one side of the entrance to the other, never slowing down, always observing the road into the parking lot and the whole parking lot. We overheard one saying he had earned sixty today and yesterday he earned six hundred. They have a cigarette in one hand and continuely flick the ashes. Near the childrens playground we became aware of some Deniers. Deniers are often found single but can be paired with another Denier. Their children, seeing the children playing on the climbing toys, want to join in the fun, but the Deniers say no and try to usher them quickly past. Children of Deniers often look backwards to see the fun they are missing. The courtesy car driver finally showed and took us back to the dealer.